“Excuse me miss. I was wondering if you could find a maintenance man for me…ya see….when I sit on the toilet my testicles touch the water. I was wondering if they could get me a raised toilet seat?”
Me” well, yes sir. I could see that might be pretty terrible.”
“I thank you kindly. It would be nice to get up off the toilet and not be a wet mess”
This is the second in a series of letters, sent through the mail, between the writers Claudia Dey and Stacey Levine, who are in the process of reading each others’ work. Both are the authors of novels and plays. Claudia lives in Toronto; Stacey lives in Seattle. Click here to read the first letter, from Claudia to Stacey. Below is Stacey’s reply.
May 10, 2012
Hi Claudia,
It was a lovely letter you sent. Our blind date-on-paper went well, despite its full-on public-ness. We covered some bases. We have questions for one another.
I looked up Rasputin’s death. It seems probable he was not poisoned at all. The photos of him, and the appearance of his hands, too, are a mite frightening. I’ll have you know I gave my students a writing assignment to be sort of addressed to current residents of St. Helena, the island where Napoleon finished.
Your friend must’ve loved yr lyric mashup. Can you write poetry easily? I rarely think of it, though I teach it some.
(I keep hearing a strange, soft, honking from outside my door at pretty short intervals, maybe coming from the neighborhood in general. It’s like a voice, not a car horn. Maybe this honking will dictate the paragraphing of this letter.)
I am really taken by your play Trout Stanley, and esp. love that Sugar hasn’t been out of the house in years. Which sounds quasi-ideal as a life style…she is remarkably alive. There’s a nice balancing / contrast between the characters’ still, thoughtful moments and all their furious activity. As the play was being produced, your actors must’ve been very happy people.
In addition, the numbers and dates work out so musically in the play. Do you plot such things beforehand with charts or schema? What about for fiction—do you use an outline?
Are Canadian writers happier than their American counterparts?
With your description of your experience on the film set, I felt I was there. I hope I can see this film sometime. Speaking of film, I am excited that at the library a copy of a film by Terrence Davies is waiting for me: Distant Voices, Still Lives. It’s old. It’s set in Liverpool and has almost no dialogue. But lots of scenes of people singing in pubs.
You’re asking about my Seattle apartment: well, I do not run a tight ship. So, yes, many impractical collections, for example, a rubber chicken and a hard yellow plastic bee with a wingspan of about 12 inches. Both atop the DVD player.
(The honking sounds a bit between a soft-voiced dog and a duck. I’m a little concerned that what- or whoever is making this noise is not ambulatory.)
I liked your tympanic rupture story, and its dramatic, crisp end. I can’t think of a better way for pain to come to a close: on film.
I also had an ear issue recently, which ended pretty soon after a friendly doctor told me to do so-called Eustachian tube exercises, the goal of this being, I suppose, to air out this little ear-throat passageway.
I told the doctor I had never heard of this kind of exercise before, and he made a note in my medical record that I said this. ! The exercise is: Every hour, you swallow 10 times in a row (which is unbelievably difficult to do, as the doctor actively acknowledged). This process helps the Eustachian tube, because, as the doctor explained, “every time you swallow, you milk that thing.”
How perfect is this? And you, Claudia, were thinking that I write fiction? I just write about my life.
By the way, this doctor gets very happy sometimes about very small things. I heard him tell a nurse that he was “delighted” that some patient had taken a Tylenol.
(The honking comes about every three minutes. But I’m wondering now if it doesn’t sound less like a creature and more like soft bricks abrading each other kind of high up somewhere. But who would be outside late at night scraping bricks together once in a while on a rooftop?)
My answers to your questions: Ida by Stein is one of my favorites. I love Rhys, but not sure that she’s inspired my own writing. And Davis, also, not so much. About my bicycle helmet stage—frankly, sometimes it’s much easier to wear it than to carry it—that’s what I think…but I guess that’s not the whole story. I basically have no explanation for it.
(There’s nothing wrong with going outside late at night to seek the source of a gaseous honking noise. Which is probably what I’ll be doing in a few minutes. Now it once again sounds like something sentient. It better not be a kitten.)
What did you drink after your eardrum burst? I would have had whiskey with something sweet.
What are you up to this week?
Stacey
It was one of the best graduations I’ve ever seen. They skipped announcing her in line with everyone. We all thought he forgot her, but then he said otherwise. He talked her up, and we got a little apprehensive…afraid we wouldn’t have the loudest cheer. Then everyone in the entire room stood, yelled, and applauded her. I started to cry, Ha. I don’t think ill ever be in on a situation like that again. It was really amazing to see.
Followed by a great night, camping, and Ryan Bris yellin happy mothers day (first show of leg out of the tent) Haha. Best first half of mother’s day to date.
I couldn’t wait for work to end, like everyone else. I decided I would surprise them with dinner and a movie. The movie was lame, but it was great. One girl on my lap, and the other laying her head in my shoulder with my arm around her. They loved the movie.
We went for a walk when we got home. Lili is so excited to finally know how to skip she did it almost the entire walk. She skipped ahead of her sister and I with the afternoon sun shining against all our fronts. It looked like a movie scene, Haha. A four year old, blonde haired, pig-tailed, little girl skipping down the street. Covered in sunset. I wish I had taken my phone to record it.
We got home and they wanted to play outside in our tiny little side yard. I set up a floor bed in the living room and made it into a tent before they came in. They were sooo excited…even though we do it all the time, Haha.
Tomorrow we go to their grandmother’s graduation from IUP. It’s never too late to get your masters degree. The girls will be real proud. I’m most excited to go to the barn afterwards. :) in every part of my life I feel more and I think I do more, but when it comes to him…when it comes to liking him I keep making sure I don’t get too excited. I don’t know how exactly to explain it. I like not being in a relationship, but I can’t shake feeling lonely. I want to be able to tell someone I love them, and have the feeling reciprocated. I want to have my own life still, and them have theirs. I don’t want to be silly about relationships anymore though. I do, but I keep trying to step back to make myself see…I don’t NEED this, but if I want it- hell yea. Try it out.
Class starts in two weeks…and the girls leave in three. This might be our last weekend together before they go.
It depends what happens when they go to R.I. in a week and a half. We’ll see. Maybe one more weekend. We’ve packed this weekend with great stuff though. That’s for sure. I don’t care how quick they think they are. We’re going to catch a chicken.
